How can we help you?
Close
Let us help you search:
Common topics:
Information Type:
Series Titles:
Common topics:
These are changes in physical and mental health that you may experience as a care partner.
Examples:
Examples from others who have experienced these changes:
"I get very frustrated. I am not a violent man, but sometimes I feel like smashing things."
"My outlook seems futile. I have had so many relapses and then healthy bouts that it gets discouraging."
"I get worn out, isolated, somewhat depressed, and sometimes desperate to take a break from the responsibility."
"With breaks, having exercise classes (kick boxing boot camp and yoga). I was able to channel my frustrations, focus on just me, making me feel better physically and mentally."
,Changes in the environment include changes in the home environment during the illness and changes of location from home to hospital and long-term care home.
Examples:
Examples from others who have experienced these changes:
"I got to the point that I was unable to care properly at home for my wife. She is now in a LTC facility."
"Our friends left and I felt totally isolated."
"Upon diagnosis - feeling alone, no support. I was unemployed (due to my spouse's diagnosis) and had very little hope. I was deeply depressed and did not know where to turn. Only after making a decision to move to a larger center did help become available."
,Changes in roles and relationships often happen as the illness progresses and you may need more help with daily activities.
Examples:
Examples from others who have experienced these changes:
"Every transition was a major change: loss of driving, movement, thinking, decision-making ability, change in personality... he's not my "husband' anymore. He's someone else I often do not like. Our friends left and I felt totally isolated. When children came, he put on a happy face so they had no idea what was going on for me. The personality change was so gradual over the years I didn't recognize it until it was too late for me."
"Having to say goodbye to so many little things."
"Change in role. I am now my parents' main support rather than them being mine. Watching a well-educated, intelligent man struggle to get a sentence out is tough emotionally."
"My husband changed from being a hard-working farmer who could fix anything and everything to someone who basically didn't know what a screw driver was for or how to change a light bulb. It then fell on me to do these things without making him feel stupid."
"Dad isn't able to do things that he used to. It is sad to see. I spend more time with Dad, or doing things for him. I used to ask Dad for help, now he needs my help. "
,
Changes in negotiating/advocating for care are related to the continuous need to find the supports you need to help care for the person you are caring for.
Examples:
Examples from others who have experienced these changes:
"I had to spend considerable time with the many caregivers (who were good for the most part) in helping them get to know her needs, likes, dislikes, etc."
"Caregiving is a task for which no-one can ever be prepared - the journey takes many turns - I finally [discovered] respite which is most required: Respite was my salvation."
"Hired a friend to sit with my mother, so I could get out of home for a couple or three hours, once or twice a week, to work or to exercise or to spend time with myself. Also, Mom went to day program twice a week, set up by home care, homecare nurse is an awesome woman."
"I've tried to learn everything I can about the diseases that affected my parents... I've attended support groups."
,Video Resources:
Dementia: Palliative care at the end of life
Reflections on caring for my mother
Dying in long term care: Preparing families and staff
PREPARING FOR THE FUTURE: Learning about Dementia and Care near the End of Life
Asking questions of health care providers can sometimes be hard. Many of us simply do not know the questions we could be asking to help us better understand and plan for the future.
This question prompt sheet has been designed to open up conversations between you, your family, and members of the health care staff in this facility. The answers to these questions may not be simple or straightforward; dementia affects each person in different ways.
By asking these important questions, we hope you are able to get the information you need regarding how things might progress towards the final stages of life and help prepare you for the future.
Person-Centred Language Guidelines
Seeds of Hope Family Learning Series (Session 14 - Taking Care of You: Grief and Self Care)
Ambiguous Loss & Grief - brain Xchange Webinar
Visiting a Person with Dementia
The Visitor Guest Book: A Tool to Stay Informed
Helping children understand Dementia
Alzheimer Society: About Dementia
Canadian Hospice and Palliative Care Association
Health Canada: Natural Health Products
When your family member/friend moves into a care facility, your daily activities will change. You may notice changes in tasks, sleeping patterns, eating habits, diet, career, or social interactions. This can include anything that affects or alters the way you are used to living.
Examples:
Examples from others who have experienced these changes:
"There's the loss of a job, because I took early retirement. And I mean, I loved my job and I loved all the people I worked with, and it gave me that sense of empowerment. It also takes away some of your identity."
"Once you put somebody into care, that because you've been the caregiver for so long, it's hard to-you're still planning your life around that person."
"I think more about his goals than my goals."
"Think about what you want to do for yourself. Then I realized, you know what, I don't know what to do any more."
"I went from doing everything, like deciding what he'd wear, when he'd shower, when he'd shave, all of that stuff, that you're still the caregiver for that person, but you're-well, initially you become the parent to that person instead of the spouse or the child or whatever-you change your relationship. It was kind of difficult to live with somebody that had been your partner and is now your child sort of thing, and then you relinquish that to somebody else."
"Learning to plan your day around you instead of planning your day around your visits to your person that you're caring for."
"So I was still planning my life around his schedule, and you're right, it's something you have to do, to separate from that and plan your life around your schedule and fit him in. You still are taking care of that person, you're still an advocate for that person, but then you're fitting them into your schedule, not your schedule around them. It's something that's not easy to do."
When your family member or friend moves into a care facility, it can impact your physical, mental, and spiritual health. Here are some changes you might experience:
Does this meet your expectations?
Changes in the physical environment include the change of location from home or hospital to long-term care, as well as changes to your home now that your family member/friend is living in a care home.
Examples:
Examples from others who have experienced these changes:
"I'm not very motivated to do anything at home . . . I used to cook good meals for my husband and myself, now I don't want to cook at all...."
"But then suddenly, you're living at home alone, and the biggest project was downsizing. I'm still downsizing. We've got so many things that I have a hard time getting rid of, but still, bit by bit-"
"Then, here comes the downsizing, and are you going to stay in your house or move to an apartment; that's things you have to think about, for sure."
"When we talk about lightening the load, the major load is the material attachments. So I let the material stuff go, and I had a better life. When I look back, that was the best thing that I have ever done."
When your family member moves into a care facility, roles and relationships often shift significantly. Some of these changes include:
"After I initiated care from others, what happened [was] I became the daughter again."
"I didn't have to, you know, be on guard all the time, which again was freedom within myself . . . but I looked forward to going up there every day to visit [her]."
"It's like a, uh, permanent part-time job! You know, to a certain degree."
"I hear this all the time: you've got to cut down, you've got to take care of yourself.'"
"Think about what you want to do for yourself. Then I realized, you know what, I don't know what to do anymore.' I'd been looking after my mom and dad, and that's the best I can do."
"I hope there would somehow be some teaching to show the whole family that they must stand together for it to work well. Because even though there's a facility for your loved one, it still takes family to keep that loved one content."
"But I also accept that this is where we are and that there isn't anything you can really do to change the situation other than see him as often as possible and give him support."
