Some people find it helpful to write or talk about their story. You might find it helpful to write your story here to understand better who you are, what brought you to this point in your life, and what strengths you might draw upon.

Begin by Writing Your Story

• There is no right or wrong way to write your story - just start and don't worry about finishing it
• Your story can include major changes in your life (both emotional and physical)

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Sifting and sorting through years of family history and possessions can feel overwhelming. It's important at this time to seek support from friends and family members and remember that you are not alone.

Don't wait for a crisis: plan ahead. Learning about your options and being organised may help you to make this transition more easily. The following steps may help you and your family regain a sense of control over what might feel like an unmanageable situation.

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Communicating with individuals with dementia can be difficult, however there are many strategies that family caregivers can use to improve the quality of their visits. 

Guide: look at the "Tips on How to Interact with a Person with Dementia" factsheet to learn more about how to interact with your relative with dementia.

• Pick one or two activities from the factsheet and try them at your next visit with your relative
• Use this space to write about what worked, and what didn't work with the activity you chose

Remember: Individuals with dementia can experience frequent changes in mood, therefore an activity that did not work today, may work another day and vice versa. For this reason, it is important to keep trying the activities and tracking which ones you used. 

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Guilt is a difficult and complex emotion. It is normal to feel guilty after your family member/friend moves into a care facility. You are not alone. Most caregivers feel some guilt after their family member/friend moves. Guilt may be related to feeling responsible for their illness. You may blame yourself for their move to care, and feel as if you "didn't do enough". You may feel guilty that your family member/friend is not going to get the same care that you provided. You may also feel guilty because you feel some relief that you are no longer responsible for your family member/friend's care around the clock.

Below is a written activity that may help you deal with your guilt.

Guide:

• Write a list of what you feel guilty about (no need for explanations - this is your confidential list)
• Beside the list, write some ideas that you can do to address the underlying reason for the guilt
• What is one small thing that you can forgive yourself for, today?
• Imagine if this list belonged to a friend, what would you tell them?

For more information and other activities - please see the Resources section.

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Some people find that writing and then thinking about what gives them hope can be useful to gain or keep a sense of hope.

Guide: Hope is important for everyone, but especially for people who may be experiencing grief and loss (also see the Resources section for information on grief and loss). Write below what gives you hope today. Thinking about what helps you to have hope today is an exercise you can do every day. Some ideas include:

• Make note of what reminds you of hope or gives you hope (for example, a photo, poem, song or piece of music)
• Think about how you might connect with your family member/friend when you next visit, which may help you to feel hopeful 

Connecting with Hope
This is a video that reflects the hope experience of family caregivers of persons with dementia living in Long Term Care Facilities. It was funded by the Nursing Research Chair in Aging and Quality of Life (15 minutes). 
Use the following link to see the film: Connecting with Hope

 

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Describing your goals can help you become aware of your current situation and personal expectations.

Guide: Write below your thoughts about your goals as a partner in your family member/friend's care (this may change over time).

• Think about changes your family member/friend may experience in the near or distant future. How might these changes affect what you want for your family member/friend? For yourself?
• Develop your goals as a carer. Start with short attainable goals.
  • One way to do this is to work towards setting SMART goals:
    • Specific (Developing a well defined goal: e.g. the who, what, where, when and why of the goal)
    • Measurable (Knowing what you will see, hear and feel when you reach your goal. Breaking your goal down into its measurable components)
    • Attainable (Weighing the effort, time and other costs that the goal will take to achieve)
    • Realistic (Creating a goal that can be achieved with available resources and knowledge)
    • Timely (Making sure you have enough time to achieve your goal and that it is relevant to present circumstances)
  • What roadblocks might you encounter while working towards these goals? How might you overcome these roadblocks?
  • Discuss your goals with others, in particular care home staff

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Most of us are social beings and usually prefer the company of others rather than existing in isolation. It's often more fun doing things with other people, to share experiences like going to the movies or a concert, take off on a trip somewhere or discover a new restaurant.

To help look after your brain health it's important to be social with people whose company you enjoy and in ways that interest you.

(Source: Your Brain Matters, Alzheimer's Australia)

Think about the social activities that interest you the most! Type an activity in the box below, where it says "Type word here". For example, an activity might be “bowling” or “coffee chat”. Move to the next box and type another one. You can type up to 15 activities. Drag the bar along the scale to show how important each social activity is to you in relation to the others. When you are finished hit "Generate" and see your social connections appear in a "cloud" picture.

Complete the social connections "cloud" exercise below.  It will help you identify, and possibly expand, the social activities (formal and informal) that are of interest to you.

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Personal Reflection

After you complete the exercise, print a copy of your "cloud" and take a few minutes to reflect on the following questions.  Feel free to make some notes.

• What are the social activities that interest you the most?
• What are some new social activities that you'd like to try to expand your social connections?
• Now that you've created your own "cloud", what will you continue to do in order to benefit from the social connections that are available to you? What will you stop or do differently?

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Additional Reading

Visit the link below for more reading on the following:

Be Socially Active

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At any time, you may scroll to the Search bar at the top of the page and type a specific question or topic.

• Accept invitations and extend a few of your own.
• Make the most of your daily opportunities to socialize - chat with your taxi driver or store clerk; make conversation in the elevator.
• Help someone - practice a random act of kindness.
• Talk on the telephone or correspond via e-mail.
• Participate in service clubs, volunteer work, or join a hobby group.
• Combine social interaction with physical activity (such as a walk or a fitness class) or a brain-challenging activity (such as a book club discussion or attending a play) - and enjoy yourself while you positively impact your brain health.
• Laugh - smile at someone.

Note: Your abilities, health and interests should be taken into consideration when choosing brain healthy activities. If you have questions about your own situation, speak to your doctor or health care provider.

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Personal Reflection

• What tip would you add to the list above?
• What do you do to stay socially active?
• What prevents you from being socially active?  How can you overcome this barrier in the days and weeks ahead?

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Additional Reading

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Heads Up for Healthier Living

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Heads Up for Healthier Brains

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At any time, you may scroll to the Search bar at the top of the page and type a specific question or topic.

Click on the icon below to download and print a brief self-reflection activity sheet.  The purpose of this tool is to help you think about what you have learned and to provide a space for you to document some of your thoughts and ideas for moving forward.

Home is an important place for everyone. For people with dementia, a familiar environment can help them connect with the past and maintain a sense of who they are. However, some practical changes may need to be made to keep the family home or the person’s space in a care home "dementia-friendly."

Every person with dementia will have different requirements for keeping a safe environment. Keep in mind some of the changes that occur with dementia:

• Decreased balance and reaction time
• Visual-perceptual problems
• Difficulty walking
• Memory impairment
• Decrease in judgment abilities
• Less insight into the environment and situations

Watch this video for suggestions for ensuring a safe home environment.  Feel free to make some notes.

Home Safety Questions

Here are some questions to consider for ensuring a safe environment for the person you are caring for at home:

1. Do I need to store the scatter rugs and secure the carpet to prevent falls?
2. Are the stairways safe for the person I am caring for?
3. Are electrical appliances in the kitchen and bathroom safe to use?
4. Should the hot water heater temperature be lowered?
5. Are there any medications, cleaning substances or gardening chemicals that should be locked away?
6. Do I need to be there when he has a cigarette?
7. Should I lock some of the doors, or should I move the location of the locks on the doors?
8. Should I consider installing safety equipment in the bathroom (e.g., grab bars, an elevated toilet seat, and a non-slip mat)?
9. Does the lighting sufficiently eliminate shadows that may cause confusion?
10. Are there items that confuse him (e.g., pictures, mirrors)?

This information is taken from the Alzheimer Journey, Module 2: On the Road

Helpful Home Changes for People Living with Dementia

Canada Housing and Mortgage Corporation (CMHC) offers simple and practical advice on home adaptations to help people living with dementia and their caregivers or housing providers create a safe, secure, and independent living environment.

Read about the CMHC’s Recommended Tips for adapting the home environment for a person living with dementia.

More Learning Resources

Progression Series: Late Stage

A Handbook for Care